Preface sort of..

I am influenced by someone to express myself through words. She has an entire write up on influence, research, plagiarism, etc. So, I am thinking to put the author’s surname and the date of publication within brackets (xyz, 2011). You know this is my problem… and I think I am insulting her and I should never publish.

I was not like this from the beginning. Yes, I always wanted to focus and get myself established, earning my own decent livelihood and that of my mother. But I was never a materialistic one who studied to sell her proposal. I never expected anything from books except knowledge. But I am not the same anymore. I still enjoy reading but always try to think whether another project proposal can be written in that framework. I am not criticizing the approach. But sometimes I start hating myself and my nearest one’s consolation also fail to convince me.

Childhood is the golden times in life whatever difficulties you face. Then once you start growing up, it’s always that you hate others or others hate you (except the persons at your immediate workplace…you or they cannot afford to do that). You turn hypocrite as you grow up and let me warn you: if anyone says that he/she is not a hypocrite that is a false statement, a statement that itself reflects hypocrisy.

I also want to write and express like others. In articles, project proposals, and other professional things you can write, open an entire avenue of new research, put your original insights, but may be you can’t express the mound of personal thoughts and feelings that remains accumulated in the deepest layer of your heart. I now want to dig that mound and explore my feelings; I want to write to express. I don’t want to modify, change and revise them. I would place them raw – they would be my EXPRESSIONS UNEDITED!